"The rules may not be congruent with the requirements of the law."

How do we live a life that feels congruent for us and how do we help children and teens learn to do the same.  It's really quite simple.  Join me on this journey as we embark on what this means as we explore simple exercises pertaining to living in congruency!  

Transcript

 Hello everyone!

How do we live a life that feels congruent for you and how do you help children and teens learn to do the same?  It’s really quite simple however there are multiple layers to this topic.  Join me in this journey as we work our way through all of them in time.  The journey begins today!  

Welcome to the CONGRUENCY CORNER and I’m not talking about congruent triangles!  I’m talking about full body congruency between the heart, mind, and body!  The congruency corner is intended for every one of every age!  My name is Chandra – your host!   I wear many hats professionally and personally as I’m sure all of you do, as well but above all I am a lifelong learner and a lifelong teacher!  I teach what I learn, and I practice what I teach!  #1 reason why I decided to create this podcast.  To pay it forward with the knowledge that I have and to learn from my guests and audience as well!  It all comes full circle in one way or another!  

This is episode 1 – “The rules may not be congruent with the requirements of the law.”

So, what does that mean? To understand something, we sometimes have to look at the reverse.  I had this thought the other day when I was teaching my 8-year-old son how to work through division problems – looking at the opposite of division is multiplication.  To best teach division to a child is to look at the problem in reverse.   Then while I was helping my 12-year-old daughter with Algebra – I realized the same.  While working through the problems and teaching them it helps to look at the problem in reverse to understand how to solve the problem.  This helped both of them tremendously with understanding two very different math concepts. Then, I had my own lightbulb moment while I was formulating the content for this podcast in my mind, to understand what it feels like to live in congruence is to understand what incongruence looks like.  To look at something in the reverse helps to gain perspective.  How does one fully understand the value of congruence if they have never felt it or experienced it.  To have perspective of what congruence looks like, feels like, what it resembles is to look at the opposite and understand what it feels like to feel incongruent.  

So, let’s talk about that. What does incongruence look like?  What does it feel like?  Can it feel like Anxiety, stress, anger, resentment, guilt, FEAR!  Absolutely.  These are very normal emotions that are on a spectrum of intensity.  When the heart feels anyone of these emotions and the brain strives to make sense of them based on memories, thoughts, and perceptions – the heart, brain, and body are attempting to reach a level of homeostasis or rather congruence.  This is why we experience the somatic symptoms that can be part of any of the emotional triggers, headache, achiness, stomach aches, etc.  This is also what activates our central nervous system to respond and activate.  Our entire bodies always strive to feel homeostatic and are constantly reaching a state of homeostasis.  Simple example – when we get a virus our bodies reacts by triggering many symptoms one including a fever.  Spiking a fever is the bodies way of attempting to rebalance itself and regain homeostasis. Another example, when the body endures a physical energy, depending what part of body is affected there can be other unrelated symptoms that arise as the body is attempting to heal itself and reach homeostasis. 

 Even our thoughts, ever have a nagging thought about something you feel like you need to do or a place you need to visit or a person you want to see?  Or that feeling that you want to call or text someone and then they beat you to it.  Having those thoughts and feelings can feel congruent because it just does and it can feel difficult to ignore those feelings; hence feeling a bit incongruent.  The heart, brain, and body work together to maintain congruence and when it feels incongruent negative emotions can arise causing lower vibrations (something I will get to in a future podcast with a guest or two).  Sometimes the brain and heart are aware on a subconscious level before we are consciously aware.  So how, do we become consciously aware?  By shaping awareness in the moment.  By reflecting periodically during the day during moments of stillness.  Meditation is a great way, but many of us don’t have 20 to 30 minutes a day to practice meditation.  The best kept secret, I am going to present.  All of which will be outlined in a future publication - More on at the end of this episode.     So, hold onto that thought. 

For now. Back to the original question and the title of this episode, the rules may not be congruent with the requirements of the law.  The requirements of any laws that we have about how we should be, want to be, or any other should haves, could have, or would haves are governed by our perceptions, thoughts, experiences, and memories that are first constructed during our formulative years as children and then are molded and shaped over time.  However, as we know from the latest research out of heart math institute in Boulder Creek CA, the heart sends more communicative signals to the brain than the brain sends to the heart; therefore, some of those laws may changes based on the emotions that are coming from the heart.  The heart sends more electromagnetic waves throughout the body than any other organ.  Ever hear the expression, “she or he had a change of heart” That saying actually refers to someone changing their direction or course simply b/c it no longer felt right – it no longer felt congruent.  When we are internally living and sensing a way that feels authentically congruent between our heart and brain, the internal sense of satisfaction is so great that one does not have to seek the external gratifications that one may seek to feel whole or complete.  That, my friends is a never-ending battle.  To seek inward rather than outward will be forever rewarding.

Back to the How to:  How can we first begin to work on this congruency within? Here are three simple exercises.  All of which I had to do while in graduate school during a much longer process.  I do very similar exercises of this nature with some of my teenage and young adult men and women who I work with.  Each exercised is tailored to them; however, the results in time are forever rewarding.  This is an exercise that opens the door to many other individualized realizations and life directions.  I dare you to try it for 3 months.      

1 Be real with yourself – I mean completely real!  Always!  At least once a day look in the mirror at your reflection and identify three things that you like about yourself and say them in an I statement form, 

2. Identify what you want for yourself – Look in the mirror and identify three desires, three intentions, three positive outlooks for the day and identify them in I statement form

3.  Be honest in the NOW! – If there are any negative feelings that you are feeling about the past; regret, guilt, sadness, etc.  Be real about it.  Acknowledge out loud in I statement form and identify and actually tell yourself what you have learned / gained from the experiences and what you can do in the future to not create the same path.  

How many times do we actually look at ourselves in the eye with the utmost sincerity, truth, and accountability.  It’s much easier to say these things to someone else than to ourselves.  It feels really uncomfortable at first to do this, but I guarantee when you do them as directed you will notice a shift in congruence.  

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  Subscribe and join me next time as we continue this journey.  

I leave you with this quote: 

“Be congruent, be authentic, be your true self; life changes the moment you embrace this authenticity in all aspects of your life”.  

Good day and see you all next time!  

I’m your host, Chandra

Contact me if there are any topics that you would like me to discuss and cover or simply to provide any comments / feedback.  Forever learning, forever growing, forever evolving.